♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- kevin hart, star of nbc's "the good place," actress kristen bell, from "assassination nation," actress hari nef. featuring the 8g band with ben sesar. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. after world leaders at the u.n. laughed at president trump for claiming he has accomplished

more than any president in history, trump said last night that the line was meant to get some laughter. [ laughter ] oh, well, then it's kind of weird that you said this right after. >> didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: man, you are -- you're a very bad liar. i would love to play poker with you. "i'll raise you $100, and i'm bluffing." [ laughter ] a third woman came forward to accuse supreme court nominee brett kavanaugh of sexual assault this week, and bill cosby was sentenced to -- oh, wait. sorry, excuse me. i'm hearing the news is too depressing, so we're cutting live to this video of baby pandas going down a slide. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: that's better. try to -- try to save that image in your brain. because you're going to need it -- you're gonna need it for the rest of the show as well. [ laughter ] according to a cofounder of a

washington literary agency, a book deal for the senior trump administration official who wrote the anonymous "new york times" op-ed criticizing president trump could be worth $10 million. which might explain mike pence's new wardrobe. [ laughter and applause ] a silicon valley start-up called ambrosia is looking into opening a clinic in manhattan where people over the age of 35 could be injected with the blood of younger people to help increase their vitality. said one customer, "can i get a to-go cup? [ laughter and applause ] because i'm on the move a lot and i also love blood." [ light laughter ] the secret service's new presidential limo cost $1.5 million and reportedly includes features such as the ability to electrify door handles to shock anyone trying to get inside.

"what if you're trying to get out?" asked one woman. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] rapper lil xan was hospitalized on monday after eating too many flaming hot cheetos. said doctors, "i'm sorry, we did all we could." [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] he's fine. i think he's fine. [ applause ] according to new research ten minutes of exercise a day could improve memory. so maybe try that? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] on the treadmill? just get on it. and finally, dunkin' donuts has announced it will be shortening its name to dunkin' in order to increase the emphasis on their non-donut items. meanwhile, taco bell is going all out and just changing their name to "you're stoned." [ laughter and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic, fantastic show for

you this evening. he's one of the funniest people on the planet, and his new film "night school" is in theaters this weekend. kevin hart is here, everybody. one of our favorites. [ cheers and applause ] for my money, it's one of the greatest shows on tv right now. i'm so happy it's coming back for a third season. she is one of the stars. we love her here. from nbc's "the good place," kristen bell is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and she is starring in the powerful new film "assassination nation." hari nef is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] before we get started with this, i just want to say the president started a press conference at around 5:00 tonight. we tape at 6:30. it was still going on when we started and so i just want to thank, in advance, everybody who works on "a closer look" because they were pulling clips right up to when i walked out here. so -- [ light laughter ] if this looks crazy, one, it already was crazy. two, it's because it was doing it in realtime. so here we go.

president trump just held a crazy solo press conference in new york where he defended his supreme court nominee brett kavanaugh from sexual assault allegations. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: trump, of course, lies freely to his adoring fans at rallies and on fox news. but yesterday at the united nations we saw what happens when he steps outside his bubble. he repeated a ludicrous campaign talking point, and the crowd laughed at him. >> in less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country. america's -- so true. [ laughter ] didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay. >> seth: he had no idea what he was saying was funny. [ laughter ] it's like he's been playing for the harlem globetrotters his whole life and suddenly they're playing against the golden state warriors.

[ laughter ] "what do you mean technical foul? i always use this ladder." [ cheers and applause ] now the u.n. -- the u.n. used to be a solemn, dignified place and now trump has turned it into the studio audience from "married with children." [ light laughter ] from now on all of trump's speeches should come with a sitcom disclaimer. >> "trump" is filmed in front of a live studio audience. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's such a bummer to watch world leaders sit around and laugh at us. i just wish someone would run for president promising to do something about it. >> the world is laughing at us. the world is laughing at us. they think we're stupid. they think our representatives don't know what they're doing. they laugh at us behind our back. >> seth: see? he fixed it. now -- [ laughter ] instead of laughing behind his back, they laugh right in his face. [ cheers and applause ] but trump of course -- trump cannot abide being humiliated or exposed as the liar he is. so later in the day when he was asked about the laughter, he

made this preposterous claim -- he meant to get laughed at. >> oh it was great. well, that was meant to get some laughs, but it was great. >> seth: oh, it was meant to get laughter? so you've been doing that joke for two years and the first time it ever worked was at the u.n.? [ laughter ] you guys are a great audience. my usual crowd doesn't get that one. [ cheers and applause ] that was not meant to get laughter. trump's like the kid at the sleepover who wakes up with his hand in warm water and says, "oh, good, i meant to pee my pants." [ laughter ] but this incident was a deeply revealing look at the ways in which trump and his sycophants lie, and then create alternate realities to justify those lies. because this morning his aides and supporters on state tv adopted his lie and insisted that the crowd was actually laughing with him. >> when he said that, they love how honest he is. and it's not diplomatic, and they find it funny. >> i like the president. i like his comment. i like the reaction. and then when he said "i wasn't

expecting that reaction," i liked it when everyone laughed afterwards. i was surprised or should i say -- not surprised, but taken aback by the way other people said, "oh, the world is laughing at us." i think they were having fun. [ light laughter ] >> seth: so to recap, trump lied, got laughed at, and then lied about getting laughed at and then fox news lied about trump's lie about how he got laughed at for lying. [ laughter ] and -- [ scattered applause ] trump's claim that he's accomplished more than any administration in history wasn't the only laugh line in his speech. he also repeated a debunked talking point that he's used before that germany is becoming dependent on russia for oil and gas. and when the camera took a crowd shot of the german delegation they seemed to be laughing at him. >> germany will become totally dependent on russian energy if it does not immediately change course. here in the western hemisphere, we are committed to maintaining our independence from the encroachment of expansionist

foreign powers. [ laughter ] >> seth: look -- [ cheers and applause ] look at that dude's face. you know it's bad when you've made the germans laugh. [ laughter ] in germany, that face is the equivalent of a steve harvey laugh. [ laughter ] trump kept undercutting his speech by embarrassing himself. in fact, in that same clip he tried to deride international organizations by calling them expansionists, but he couldn't even say the word. >> here in the western hemisphere we are committed to maintaining our independence from the encroachment of expansionist foreign powers. >> seth: why does he slur his words so much? trump's a tee-totaler, and yet in the middle of that speech he still got pulled over for a dui. [ laughter ]

in fact, later in his speech, trump did it again when he misread the phrase human smuggling. but in a classic trump move he tried to pretend that what he accidentally said was what he meant to say. >> the united states is also working with partners in latin america to confront threats to sovereignty from uncontrolled migration. tolerance for human struggling -- [ light laughter ] and human smuggling -- [ laughter ] >> seth: human juggling. [ light laughter ] that's right. human struggling as in, "i watched the president's u.n. speech and saw a human struggling to pronounce words." [ laughter ] so this week -- [ cheers and applause ] we've seen this week that there is an entire right wing propaganda machine to insulate trump and his inner circle from the reality of their lies and the consequences of their actions. let's not forget trump's supreme court nominee brett kavanaugh did the exact same thing. the very first words kavanaugh

spoke to the american people after trump nominated him were a flagrant and obvious lie. >> mr. president, thank you. throughout this process, i have witnessed firsthand your appreciation for the vital role of the american judiciary. no president has ever consulted more widely or talked with more people from more backgrounds to seek input about a supreme court nomination. >> seth: that was such an obvious and shameless lie. [ light laughter ] trump was handed a list by a conservative think tank and he picked a name from that list. can you imagine if kavanaugh had said that in front of the u.n. general assembly? >> no president has ever consulted more widely or talked with more people from more backgrounds -- [ laughter ] to seek input about a supreme court nomination. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: now kavanaugh's willingness to lie so

shamelessly in that first speech and in his fox news interview this week has wrecked his credibility, as he faces horrific credible new allegations from a third woman, julie swetnik. in fact kavanaugh's account of his supposedly pristine choir boy high school and college days in that fox news interview on monday has since been challenged by many of his own classmates. for example, nearly a dozen people who knew him well or socialized with him said kavanaugh was a heavy drinker in college, with one saying brett was a sloppy drunk and another saying he was frequently incoherently drunk. [ light laughter ] and in his high school yearbook he listed himself as the treasurer of the keg city club, 100 kegs or bust. in fact he was so drunk for his high school history class, that when was asked to describe the u.n. he called it -- >> expansionist. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: and on top of that, mark judge, kavanaugh's friend and classmate and the man who was allegedly present during the incident described by dr. christine blasey ford, wrote a memoir about his drunken past called "wasted" in 1997. and in that memoir, he doesn't name kavanaugh specifically, but he does reference a character who passes out drunk and throws up in a car named

bart o'kavanaugh. [ laughter ] dude, you couldn't come up with a better fake name for brett kavanaugh? "hey, man, i'm going to put you in my book." "all right, but make sure you change my name." "don't worry, dude. no one will know it's you." [ laughter and applause ] now, to make something clear -- getting drunk in high school, getting drunk in college, is not in itself suspicious, nor is it disqualifying for the supreme court. but lying about it definitely is, especially when the women credibly accusing you of sexual assault say you were drunk when you did it. and yet, in his fox news interview kavanaugh was adamant that he was never blackout drunk. >> was there ever a time that you drank so much that you couldn't remember what happened the night before? >> no. that never happened. >> you never said to anyone, "i don't remember anything about last night"? >> no. that did not happen. >> seth: except people who knew you say it did happen. kavanaugh lies so much, at this point i'm expecting him to leave during the hearing tomorrow and come back in with a fake mustache. [ light laughter ] "this man is innocent. i'm the one who's guilty. the name's bart o'kavanaugh.

[ laughter] and i'm from ireland city. [ applause ] ireland." so kavanaugh's classmates say he was frequently drunk and kavanaugh's own credibility is in tatters. and yet yesterday, during a meeting with the president of colombia, trump stood firmly behind kavanaugh. >> i mean, charges come up from 36 years ago that are totally unsubstantiated? i mean, you as -- watching this as the president of a great country, colombia, you must think, "how is this possible?" >> seth: don't bring him into this. [ laughter ] look at him. [ laughter ] he looks like he's sitting in the front row at a magic show. "don't pick me. oh, please don't pick me." [ light laughter ] now late today, right before we started taping the show, trump held a rare solo press conference. now a lot of what you're gonna hear is gonna sound insane, but don't worry. trump established that he is not insane and is in fact very intelligent.

>> if you look at mr. pillsbury, the leading authority on china, he was saying that china has total respect for donald trump and for donald trump's very, very large -- ah brain. [ laughter ] >> seth: "ah brain. [ laughter ] some have said my brain is a spicy meatball." [ laughter ] so today trump's supreme court nominee was credibly accused of sexual assault by multiple women and his confirmation is in serious doubt. but i got to say, it seems like trump's handling it pretty well. >> if we brought george washington here and we said we have george washington, the democrats would vote against him. we paid $1.8 billion in cash -- cash. this whole room would be filled up with hundred dollar bills. this is so and so calling for -- he talked to cohen. why is he taking a call from a russian? it's a con job. and it's not a bad term. i'm a very famous person, unfortunately.

>> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] on that we're in agreement. [ cheers and applause ] from there -- from there trump went off the rails, attacking the women alleging sexual assault against kavanaugh and claiming the entire process was a conspiracy. >> i think when you really look at it all, it's not going to change any of the democrats' minds. they're obstructionists. they're actually con artists. because they know how quality this man is and they've destroyed a man's reputation and they know it's a big, fat con job. >> seth: "a big fat con job?" i'm pretty sure those were the results from trump's physical. [ laughter and applause ] now trump responded to the third allegation today by focusing on her lawyer michael avenatti, the same lawyer who represented stormy daniels in a case that ended with trump's personal lawyer, michael cohen, pleading guilty to crimes involving trump. >> are they liars? >> i can't tell you. i have to watch tomorrow. i have to read -- i just heard about one a little while ago. i can tell you her lawyer is a

low life. okay? >> seth: oh, come on. if he was such a low life, you would have hired him. [ laughter ] "is he available? i love that guy." [ cheers and applause ] trump also cast doubt on the details of the allegations, suggesting that no one knows when they actually happened. >> whether it was a man or a woman 30 years ago, 36 years ago -- in fact, they don't even know how many years ago. because nobody knows what the time is. >> seth: just because you don't know doesn't mean nobody knows. [ laughter ] if someone asked trump the name of his son, trump would say, "no one knows." [ laughter ] and as usual he concocted a deluded conspiracy theory claiming the democrats had made up the allegations and that they knew they were false. >> they go into a room, and i guarantee you they laugh like hell at what they pulled off on you and on the public. they laugh like hell. >> seth: no, dude. they're not the ones laughing. you're thinking of the united nations. [ laughter and applause ] this of course -- this whole thing, of course -- it's straight out of

donald trump's playbook. he has denied the many credible sexual assault allegations against him, and viciously attacked the women making those accusations. and he did the same thing today. >> i have been accused of false accusations -- excuse me. >> right, how have those -- >> i've been accused -- and i was accused by, i believe it was four women. you can check with sean hannity. >> seth: oh, we should ask sean hannity? you're never in a good place when your first character witness is sean hannity. [ laughter ] "i didn't eat that guy. just ask my pal hannibal lecter." [ light laughter ] so trump defended a man credibly accused of sexual assault today in a solo press conference that was off the rails and made it clear that he is definitely a -- >> human struggling. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with kevin hart, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ y! it's iphone season

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us on drums, he's enjoyed a 20-year career touring and recording for country music legend brad paisley, playing on albums totaling 11 million sold, and a grammy winner for his co-write of the song "throttleneck." follow him on instagram @bensesar. ben sesar is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being here, ben.

>> thanks for having me. >> seth: our first guest tonight is a very funny comedian and actor you know from hit films such as "ride along," and "jumanji: welcome to the jungle." he stars in "night school," which opens in theaters friday. let's take a look. >> you are just one big beautiful mixed drink of learning disabilities. [ light laughter ] >> okay. so, how do we fix it? let's talk solutions. >> well, there's no cure for what you have. >> oh, my god. i got learning herpes? [ laughter ] >> there is no such thing as learning herpes. >> i'm blistering up. it's 'cause i'm trying to think. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our good friend kevin hart, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> seth: welcome back. >> what's up, man? i love your crowd. >> seth: they're very nice. you look great. >> thank you.

>> seth: you look like a million bucks. you don't look tired, and i would have thought you did, because you went on vacation with your family. >> yes. yes, i did. >> seth: and you have a couple of older kids, you've got a 10-month-old. >> i do, yes. >> seth: and you took your 10-month-old to the bahamas. how was your first trip with a 10-month-old? >> you know what? it was great. >> seth: okay, good. >> i got a good 10-month-old. >> seth: yeah. >> he's like a 10-month-old, but he's like 30. >> seth: oh, that's good. [ laughter ] >> yeah, he's very, very relaxed. like he's extremely mature. he can chill. he can just watch tv, but he'll change and just look at you for a while. there's sometimes where you got to pluck him, make sure he alive. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, right. that's the one down side of a chill baby, yeah. >> yeah, hey man, are you breathing, man? he'll just sit with his mouth open. but he's amazing, man. i love him. >> seth: here you are with your family, and i want to -- first of all, i should note you went -- there is a pig -- a beach that has pigs on it. >> oh yeah, yeah. pig island. >> seth: pig island. >> pig island, yes. >> seth: so there you are with some pigs, but -- and that's fascinating. but what's more fascinating, is it fair to say that your entire family is wearing the same patterned swimsuit?

>> 100%. 100%. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, gotcha. is that -- was that an accident, or on purpose? >> no, it's because i'm black. that's what we do. [ laughter ] black people, we like to match. it's a thing. [ laughter ] we go overboard with matching. i am that dad. >> seth: congratulations on "night school." >> thank you. >> seth: this is a really funny film. this is based on some degree on your own experiences. yes? >> yes, 100%. it's based on second chances. that's what the whole purpose behind the movie is. you know, i think so many people frown on second chances. you know, where you don't get something right the first time. ultimately, you're down, and you feel like, "i'm not going to do it. i'm going to go in another direction. it's over." well, this is movie that shows that it's okay to go back the second time, and give it your all, and take the things that you didn't do right the first time, apply it to that second time, and come out better. sometimes it takes a third, and fourth time. you know? >> seth: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's what -- that's what this is about. so, i'm a victim of not getting it right the first time for a lot of things. >> seth: you've got a great cast. tiffany haddish, taran killam.

>> yes. >> seth: you also -- i know in the prep for this, you got to -- you were a principal for a day in dallas. >> yes, i was. yes. >> seth: you gave sort of a tedtalk of sorts to kids in atlanta. >> yeah. >> seth: what is -- what do you try to impart upon students? >> well the first thing is rules. you know, when i got to be principal for a day i felt it was very important to make my presence felt. you know, i'm a big fan of joe clark on "lean on me." >> seth: uh-huh. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, yeah. right. those people know. >> seth: some joe clark fans. >> right, joe clark. [ light laughter ] he's the real deal. "you smoke crack, don't you?" that's one of the best lines. [ laughter ] but i said, you know, i wanted to change some things. so the first thing i did was, i said we're going to have chicken nuggets every day. >> seth: yeah, that's good. >> 'cause i like -- >> seth: no one's going to fight you on that. >> i like nuggets. >> seth: i do too, yep. >> that was a great rule. i took all the toilet paper out the bathrooms, replaced it with baby wipes, and said it's important that we all wipe our asses properly. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> you now, that's something i did. >> seth: especially after like nuggets every day. >> yeah. after nuggets, you're going to need it. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, you get it. you get where i'm going.

>> seth: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and i was on a roll, and then the real principal came, and he was like, "this has to stop." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> he took my bullhorn away. then i gave actually a real speech, and i told the kids -- i said, it's very important to embrace this moment, and really understand what teachers are. i now, at the age of 39, understand the importance and value behind these teachers. you know, teachers are investing time, energy into these kids because they feel like the kids are our next generation's leaders and groundbreakers. and i said, "your biggest reward to them is by doing something with your life. take advantage of this time, and really apply yourself." [ cheers and applause ] and, you know, it was good. it was good because they related, they responded. they identified with what i was saying because it was coming from me. >> seth: it's a fantastic message to give them. i also -- another thing that's interesting is, you know, i think people look at you, and they think, "oh my god, you're so successful." everything you do is successful, but you have also had films that did not particularly work. you were in a film, "soul plane." [ laughter ] "soul plane" was not a huge box office success.

>> yeah. it didn't really get going -- >> seth: but you have a theory as to what went wrong here, and your theory is based on -- >> well, it got bootlegged. my movie was bootlegged before it came out. >> seth: okay. >> do you know the background of "soul plane"? >> seth: i don't know. >> let me educate you. so "soul plane," soul plane was supposed to be the one that was going to take me out of here. >> seth: yeah. >> oh, my god. it's about to go down. >> seth: uh-huh. >> okay, this is -- here it comes. somebody give me the money train, 'cause after this movie, it's going to happen. >> seth: gotcha. >> i'm at the airport. we're still filming the movie actually. we're doing reshoots, and a guy comes up to me. he's like, "oh my god. you're the guy from 'soul plane.'" i'm like, "hey, how you doing man?" he's like, "man, the movie's funny," and i was like, "well, you're going to really think it's funny when it come out." he's like, "no, it's out. i saw it." [ laughter ] and i was like, "no, you didn't. you couldn't have seen it because we're still shooting it. we're actually shooting it right now." he was like, "no, i saw it. i could tell you everything that happened in the movie." and he starts telling me all the scenes in the movie.

he was like, "dude, would you mind signing it for me?" i said, "signing what?" [ laughter ] and he pulls the bootleg out of his bag, and he's like, "sign it." i had no choice. i had to sign it cause it's the first autograph i've ever really given. >> seth: yeah. >> so, i was excited. [ laughter ] and i immediately like called the director, and i was like, "hey, man, a guy just told me he had the bootleg," and he's like, "no. no way." before we knew it, in like a month i was the biggest thing on the streets. everybody had this movie, and the movie -- the date that it was supposed to come out, we had to push it up like a month because they was like, "we gotta just get it out." so, we were trying to lie. we were like, "there's new scenes that you haven't seen in the bootleg." [ laughter ] "oh, you think you've seen it. well wait 'til you see the new stuff." [ laughter ] >> seth: so your release was effectively like, "we're rereleasing 'soul plane.'" >> we had to rerelease based off the bootleg. [ laughter ] we were like, we think -- "we know you think you know the

end, but look at what we just added." [ laughter ] so, we're like cutting together trailers that aren't even in the movie. [ laughter ] it's like me fighting somebody in karate. it was like, "wait 'til you see this new action scene in 'soul plane.'" [ laughter ] and the movie ended up being the biggest hit on the streets, but one of the biggest flops in the box office, but there is a positive in every negative. the positive is that's how the following for me in comedy started. >> seth: yeah. >> i was able to go to comedy clubs, and they were like, "that's the guy." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: yeah. >> i was, "that's the guy from 'soul plane' for a long time." >> seth: hey, thanks so much for being here. it's always such a pleasure. >> love coming here. i love it. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you so much, kevin. >> thank you man. >> seth: kevin hart, everybody. "night school" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with kristen bell. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yes. honey the local game store wants to sponsor you. i want to sponsor you. ♪ yes. honey travis scott wants you to

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest tonight is a talented actress you know from tv's "veronica mars" and the voice of princess ana in "frozen." she stars in nbc's "the good place," which will return for its third season this thursday at 8:00 p.m. let's take a look. >> i grew up in senegal, so my native language is french.

but i went to american school so i also speak english. and german and greek and latin, just in case it ever comes back. >> cool. i once got 12 out of 12 on a buzzfeed quiz called "do you know all the slang words the kardashians invented?" >> congratulations. >> thank you. >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend kristen bell, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> i'm well. how are you? >> seth: i'm wonderful. i'm so excited "the good place" is back. it's one of my favorite shows on tv. i was also -- >> that makes me so happy. >> seth: so excited to see you at the emmys. you were in the opening number. >> yes. >> seth: and, of course, the emmys night, this is a celebration of television. everybody's out. >> yeah. >> seth: did you go to parties afterward? >> no. >> seth: you did not. >> no, no, no. i -- i did that opening number and then after, i walked directly off stage and right into my car.

[ laughter ] and i just ghosted it. >> seth: really? >> i was like, "they're not going to miss me." [ laughter ] >> seth: dax has been very open about his sobriety. 14 years sober. >> yeah. >> seth: and you -- [ cheers and applause ] >> right? >> seth: yeah. absolutely. absolutely. >> let's hear it for that. yeah, he's a good egg. >> seth: it makes sense that you would celebrate the anniversary of that. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: and you did something special for him this year. >> i do. i always do, like, a huge surprise for his sobriety birthday because i think it's so -- it was great that he was born, but it's so much more important that he stays alive. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> so we always kind of try to knock it out of the park. but for a man who can kind of, like, buy himself things, and he never said that he wanted anything, except i heard one thing he said earlier in the year. he said, "you know what i really want to do?" and i was like, "what?" he goes, "i really want to eat, like, fresh hawaiian bread off the bakery assembly line." [ light laughter ] and i was like -- [ laughter ] "okay." so i was like, that's got to be it. it's got to be it. our friend monica who does the podcast with him was like, "that has to be it."

so i called the king's hawaiian bread factory. [ laughter ] and i was like, "hi, can we get a tour of the bakery room floor?" and they were like, "no, no, no. that's food. you can contaminate it. we don't let strangers -- thank you." and i was like, "no, no, no." and i called them a bunch of times. it's a family-owned business. they ended up being so sweet. and i was like, "we'll do whatever. we'll come showered, we'll wear haz-mat suits." [ laughter ] and as it turns out, we had to do both of those things. [ laughter ] because it's -- >> seth: this is -- this is not what you expect of people -- [ laughter and applause ] in a bread factory. >> but it's very -- it was so impressive because they walked us through, like, how they make it and the secret recipe. and the secret recipe is upstairs and, like, no one has keys to it but, like, five people. 'cause you can't know what's in it. and then -- look at monica. and everybody looked like they were on a tour, like a scientist. and then monica, because her hand didn't come out, looks like she was on, like, a preschool tour. [ laughter ][ laughter ] >> seth: also bread is so soft and yet you all had to wear hard hats. [ laughter ] >> yeah, well, there's a lot of

equipment in there. >> seth: yes, that's true. >> and then -- >> seth: i just want to say he looked happy. it looked like it paid off. >> i got baby his dream, look at that! [ laughter ] fresh off the assembly line. >> seth: now -- [ cheers and applause ] another one of you guys looking so happy. >> they gave us -- we ate so much bread. you can't imagine how much bread we ate. we were just, like, eating them at every stage. we were, like, raw. and then at the end they gave us this 50 pound block of butter to, like, swipe on the bread as it came hot out of the oven. [ audience aws ] [ light laughter ] it was the best day of my life. [ laughter ] >> seth: now -- >> it really was. >> seth: i heard 50 pound block of butter before i saw this photo. and in my head i thought it can't possibly look like -- and it does. it looks the way you would -- >> look at it. >> seth: that is so -- [ laughter ] >> you try to pick it up. guys, it's the size of, like, an extra large microwave except maybe even bigger. and we were just gluttons, just eating bread and just, like, swiping it. and we had butter all over our fingers and our faces. it was a wonderful birthday.

>> seth: that is fantastic. [ laughter and applause ] i am also -- so excited for this. "veronica mars" is going to come back. eight episodes on hulu. >> it is. >> seth: correct? >> yes. >> seth: that's really awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. i'm very excited. >> seth: a show that you originally shot in san diego. >> yeah. >> seth: you're shooting in l.a. now. >> yes. >> seth: how was shooting? >> well, we start on november 5th. but i'm so glad that we're not -- i mean, i loved san diego. but we were -- we were kind of like all transplants there. we were at a place called stu segall productions and most people were from l.a., and we were just very unsupervised for the three years we were down there. [ light laughter ] and it was, like -- like, you know, veronica's office was always like the high school bathroom. it's where she did all her p.i. stuff. and there were so many pranks happening because, again, we were completely unsupervised in san diego. we had no executives or, like, bosses coming to the set. and in the bathrooms throughout the three years, someone would constantly -- poo-poo in the fake toilet. [ laughter ] and we would come to work, like,

every couple of months and there would be just a dump -- [ laughter ] in my office. and, like, you know, like, working on a set, there's, like, union rules. you can't just, like, clean it up and go back to work. you have to, like, shut down production. you have to call osha and iatse. you got to get a haz-mat team in there. they gotta get those suits -- >> seth: the bread people. >> from king's hawaiian. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and they got to clean up the set. >> seth: people may not know this about you, that you were the voice on "gossip girl." you were the narrator. >> oh, yes, i was. yeah. >> seth: and we asked -- you were very kind to say yes to this, because we have -- we feel as though a lot of donald trump tweets feel very gossipy. [ laughter ] and so we have asked if you wouldn't mind reading a few of them with the classic "gossip girl" send-off. so if you just want to go over here, and thank you again. >> seth, i am honored. [ laughter ] "ex-nsa contractor to spend 63 months in jail over classified information. gee, this is small potatoes

compared to what hillary clinton did. so unfair, jeff. double standard. xoxo, gossip girl." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: just a couple more. just 'cause -- >> okay. >> seth: all right. >> "who can figure out the true meaning of covfefe? [ laughter ] enjoy. xoxo, gossip girl." [ laughter and applause ] these do sound like -- >> seth: yeah. >> the things that were written on the show. >> seth: and then this is just like a personal thing for me, as a "gossip girl" fan, just to hear my voice in your voice will be an honor. >> absolutely. [ clears throat ] "congratulations to seth meyers on emmy's rating tumble. just as i predicted, seth bombed. [ laughter ] xoxo, gossip girl." [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: thank you. kristen bell, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] the third season of "the good place" premiers this thursday at 8:00 p.m. here on nbc. we'll be right back with hari nef. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest tonight is a model and actress whose

work you've seen on "transparent," as well as lifetime's new series, "you." she's currently starring in "assassination nation" which is in theaters now. let's take a look. >> it's amazing how someone so inconsequential can make you feel so inconsequential. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] once. [ bleep ] twice. >> hold your head high. ♪ >> seth: please welcome to the show hari nef, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome, hari. how are you? >> i am great. how are you? >> seth: good. i have a question. you -- i was very excited you were on the show. i think you were excited, as well, because you tweeted about it. >> oh, my god, yeah. i'm doing my talk show leg cross. >> seth: oh, wow. [ light laughter ]

>> i'm ready to rock and roll. >> seth: it's really good. the cross is really good. >> thanks. [ laughter ] i have been practicing it my whole life. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, so this is a culmination of a life's work. >> yeah. i would like to thank my mom. >> seth: okay, great. [ laughter ] you tweeted at me, so i saw this. it said, "hey sis. what's tea?" [ laughter ] now, i -- you know, look, i'm older than you. i may be little out of it. i have no idea what that question means. [ laughter ] >> okay. let me break it down for you. >> seth: thank you. >> i mean, you know -- >> seth: break it down meaning explain? [ light laughter ] >> i mean, i come -- i come from a lineage of women such as barbra streisand. >> seth: okay. >> and bette midler and lady gaga who actually began their careers performing in gay clubs. >> seth: okay. >> so i picked up a little lingo along the way. "hey" means like -- "hey." >> seth: okay, good. >> hello. [ laughter ] >> seth: no, yeah. i should have said i was with you from here. [ laughter ] you lost me -- >> right. >> seth: you lost here, yeah. >> okay, so "sis" is like a friend. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> and if, you know, whether you're male or female doesn't matter, you're just sis, like, seth, you're my sis. >> seth: love it. great.

okay. still with you. >> and "what's tea" is like, "what's up." "tea" is like -- it's like the truth, but it's also like, "what's going on? what's happening?" so you just see your friend, you're like, "hey, sis, what's tea? what's up?" "hey, friend, how are you?" that would be the normal speak. [ laughter ] >> seth: i should have read this as, "hello, seth, my friend, what is new with you?" [ laughter ] >> yeah, precisely. >> seth: yeah? okay, great. [ light laughter ] well, thank you, sis. [ laughter ] so this film is -- it's excellent. it's very provocative. there's a lot of issues in it -- hacking, bullying, there's violence. how did you -- how did you first hear about it? how were you drawn to this role? like, what brought it to your attention? >> it was just a script that my friend sent to me. and she said, "there's this part in this movie you have to play." and i looked at the script and i saw that it was a script about four teenage girls and lots of bad stuff happens to them. and then i saw that it was written by a white straight man. and i was like, "oh, this is going to suck." >> seth: uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> but then i read it and i was

actually surprised by how vivid and honest and real and crazy and messed up it was. and i e-mailed my agents. i was like, "let's go for this." they were like, "they're not casting this part yet." and then they were and then i went in and my callback was actually the day after the presidential election. so i had to do these, like, dramatic scenes and they were so easy. >> seth: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] that's a good day. [ cheers and applause ] that's a very, very good day for that. >> i was, like, crying. >> seth: it takes place in salem. >> yeah. >> seth: you're from massachusetts. >> yeah, well, it takes place in a town called salem. >> seth: gotcha. not the salem but there is sort of a salem witch trial-type element to the film. >> yeah. >> seth: you were obsessed with the salem witch trials growing up? >> oh, yeah, when i was a kid i was obsessed with them. i would go to salem every autumn to, you know, just walk around. they have this, like, festival and everything. >> seth: did you go to the museums? >> oh, my god, there's this museum there -- >> seth: i've been there, yeah. >> with a giant statue of satan. [ laughter ] it's like my favorite museum.

and there's, like, a sound effect and it's like -- [ in deep voice ] "death!" it's so -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] i haven't been since i was a kid, but i feel like it was really scary and if i went back now i would say those are some lame ass puppets. [ laughter ] >> i mean, that ann putnam puppet did not play. >> seth: yeah. >> she was -- does anybody remember ann putnam? [ laughter ] >> seth: not as many salem witch trial heads as us here. [ laughter ] >> shout out to my good sis anne putnam. [ light laughter ] goody putnam. >> seth: there you go. they know her as goody putnam. you know, that is one of the cool elements of this movie is that it is about how a community folds in on itself when scandal happens, much like what you see in works like "the crucible." >> well, right, witch trials have happened periodic since salem. they've happened periodically in american history over and over again, whether it was the '50s with communists or, you know, early in this millennium with muslims. there's always this cyclical thing of the wider population targeting a certain group of

people which they believe is a source of all the problems going on. it's kind of american as apple pie in that way. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, there you go. congrats on the film. lovely to meet you and thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for hari nef, everybody. "assassination nation" is in theaters now. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to kevin hart, kristen bell, hari nef everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ben sesar, and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: g